Away We Go

You know those specific points in life that alter your life forever? There are two kinds. The first is accidental. In the moment, you are completely oblivious to how dramatically a specific act ends up altering your life. It is only upon looking back on your life and examining it that you become aware. For example, as a result of some purposeful decision, like starting a blog, you unexpectedly meet your future lover. Or, a dark example is the day you decide to go for a jog to a specific place at a specific time and it happens to put you in the path of a drunk driver. The fact that we can’t know how even the smallest of decisions might change our life in a big way is a bit terrifying.

The second kind are those that you know will change your life in significant ways. Like the moment you decided what college to go to or the decision to marry someone. It’s as if you take an eraser to the line ahead of you (the one you have been walking along) and draw a new line in a completely different direction. Despite these purposeful decisions, they are also almost always at least a little terrifying because, while the decision is intentional, the aftershocks of these decisions are often highly unpredictable. The lack of control can be paralyzing. 

I think this must be one reason why so many people are perfectly content to have someone else make decisions for them, or at least stay on the line they are familiar with. Despite that uneasy, undeniable feeling that things just aren’t right, people stay in jobs they hate, relationships that aren’t fulfilling, and retain religious beliefs that don’t add anything to their spiritual health. Tradition is comfortable. Routine is predictable. There is security there, even if it isn’t the existence you might hope for. I used to be one of those people. Lack of control and unpredictability was too uncomfortable- too hard to deal with. 

But I am not one of those people anymore and I find myself at one of those terrifying points in life where I’ve reached the edge of my known universe and must step into the dark unknown if I wish to live a life not managed by fear. 2,000 miles of unfamiliar road ahead of me, one car-full of belongings, no one but Taylor Swift to keep me company, everything I have known fading into obscurity in the rear-view mirror, and away we go.